in case we shrank 

small as a pencil or even smaller 
the size of small espresso spoons,
we collected
the cock tail swords from the counter
at the tavern. there's always 
the possibility of becoming
a miniature version of yourself.
my younger brother admitted he had this fear too
& that when we'd play with the doll house
in the attic that he would 
take inventory of all the details
in preparation for the chance
he might have to take shelter there.
he noted how loud the door bell
would seem to us if we were that small.
we got dinner at the tavern about
once a week & started filling our pockets
with the tiny plastic swords each time.
my favorite were the blue ones
but my brother wasn't picky.
all the while we watched our dad
sip from tall glasses with frothy
amber beer. we considered that if 
we all were small we might
have to protect him. the swords
in our pockets jabbed at our thighs.
you skewered fries on your plate
with the swords & i held the sword
between my thumb & index finger 
considering how i might duel 
with that small weapon. there was 
always ketchup on our plates 
& cloth napkins folded in our laps.
dad always offered us his spears of pickle.
i considered how if i were tiny 
i would be able to climb inside
his giant burgers-- how i could hide 
among the lettuce & feel the hot cheese
melting against my skin--
how he might bite down without
noticing i was there & with my plastic sword
i would have to prick the top
of his mouth. the truth was 
i wasn't scared of shrinking-- i was eager.
i wasn't sure what phenomenon
might cause it to happen but i was 
thoroughly prepared-- i prayed for it.
i was ready for something
to change. in my bedroom i piled
the cocktail swords up on my dresser.
i considered how the scene resembled 
the aftermath of a great battle
where a kingdom of small men had died
& left there swords for a small strange girl
in a rural town. i don't know 
what my brother did with the swords when he got home.
i wonder if he kept them like me
or if he took them 
right to the trash 
or if he became small 
without telling me. if, maybe, he crawled
underneath his bedroom door & 
down the stairs to the backyard
where he would be able to 
watch the fireflies glow
as big as himself.