a string 

i am tying a string 
to your ankle & telling you to swim.
telling you the cave goes deeper still
& i want you to fit yourself 
through smaller & smaller openings
in the rock. together we watched
a video of divers in underwater caves--
two humans turned slick & seal-like
in their wet suites. boxy goggles.
oxygen tank. bubbles escaping 
from their mouths. sometimes when 
i breathe i try to catch the bubbles.
i try to turn them to glass 
& keep them on the shelf. a display case
for each exhalation. as always 
i take things too far & i tell you
we need to go right now--
we need find a submerged cave
to thread ourselves through.
how my fingers have trembled as 
i've tried to thread a needle-- 
the head a kind of thin catacomb.
i take your body & thread it 
through stone. i begin to wonder if
there are caves in my body & if
in those caves you are there
brushing your fingers against 
the walls-- string tracing 
each corridor. i told you to
do this. i told you i wanted 
a lover on a string-- someone 
who i can pull out if they get
too deep. we watch the divers in silence 
as if our conversation could break
their concentration. 
as if the recorded bodies
can hear us-- as if they are 
performing for a couch full of lovers.
what i should of asked you 
is what the divers are looking for--
if they think they might find
a fragment of themselves deep
in the water-- through small openings 
& tight spaces. if somehow 
they believe they're excavating 
their own bodies. does the water 
turn deep dark blood after a certain amount
of time? is all water blood?
there you are & i should
go in after you. i should tie a string
to my own ankle & trade places with you.
i should trust you--should
take turns performing something fearful
but i just want to watch. what does it mean
that i like to observe tremendous
danger? i pretend the divers 
are weaving something with their strings.
i pretend the strings are getting
knotted & they don't know it yet.
they will come alive yes maybe 
in a fish net or a quilt crochet 
the beating of their legs.
the divers get out alive & we hug them 
& we lay them out to dry. you come
out alive & dripping. your wet suite
slippery on our hardwood floor.