i told him i wanted to see a drive-in movie

so we got in his car & drove for hours.
watched the landscape change seasons.
it snowed & the windshield wipers pushed
white frost away. it poured & the car
became i raft floating down a thick river.
he trembled & rubbed his hands across
his own thighs. tall river grass slapped the windows 
while we listened to a beatles album on repeat.
he wanted to hear eleanor rigby twice.
i began to realize i didn't know him at all
& not in some existential way-- this was
the first time i was in his car. 
i have this habit of telling strangers 
to take me far away. i seek them out.
i tell them i am a fleck of light. i tell them
i was a girl who needed to be buried
& now that i'm now a boy who needs to be escaped.
we get there finally after several years
of not even kissing. there's no one else
at the drive-in & i tell him the story 
i tell everyone-- that i'm from a small 
farm town where everything is made of corn 
or cows & that everyone's backyard 
has a drive-in theater. he tells me 
i'm impossible & dream like. he pressed 
a hand to my cheek to check that i am real.
boys never trust me. on the great screen
images start to play: a close up of feathers 
pulsing, undulating scales, & then finally
his hand moving across his own thigh.
he points & says that is me!
so i say i'm proud of him for being
made so huge & projected. there are clips
of our drive & of my teeth. there are 
scenes of cows along the side of the road.
i ask him if he knows that cows lay down
just before it rains. he says that can't 
be true but it is & it happens on the screen--
cows lay down. rain bursts open 
from the sky. we are drenched even though
it only rained on the screen. he wants
to go home. i want to stay. 
he threats to drive away without me 
to strand me out there in a field no one knows
or remembers. his truck turns into a blinking camera lens
i tell him to go then & leave me with the movies 
but instead of leaving he begs me
to take a video of him. he gets down 
on his knees in the video & begs
someone to come love him like he's always wanted.
i shut the camera off & tell him to 
let me take him apart even if only here 
in the middle of no where. no one is watching
the movie. no one has ever watched the movie.
he asks if i've seen it before
& i tell him to shut up. we kiss finally.
the screen plays bees. a whole hive swarming.
we are very bad for each other 
& it's wonderful & he drives back a few years
to take me home to where i live 
in an apartment with wooden floors.
i don't catch his name. my bed 
is covered in bees-- the same ones
from the movie projected 
on that wide white screen.