ring-holder 

two statue white hands poised side by side.
empty & grasping lightly at the ceiling.
smooth & simple fingers. i was sure
these were women's hands 
when i found them in the attic 
that afternoon. it was like
running into a family member. i slipped
my own hand around the still white plastic.
the hands were mounted on 
a little black stage to help them stand up tall.
i asked my dad what they were & he said
they were ring-holders.
i began to wonder if they belonged to
one of us. if one of our hands had flew away 
from our bodies. turned into doves
as we slept. turned to tarantulas & 
scaled the walls. i clutched my hands together
as if to hold them in place. in the bathroom 
i stood, to get a better look at my own hands.
my crinkled knuckles. dirt under 
each fingernail. the hands were 
nothing like mine. i wondered how 
my hands would look mounted on 
a little black stage. i clapped for myself
in the bathroom for the acoustics.
imagined myself standing in a tiny church 
without my hands. God placing my hands 
into a tiny black box. what use were hand
anyway? they crept all over. they felt separate
from my body. i decided to talk to the ring-holder. 
i asked them what kind of rings they 
wanted to hold & they whispered
i want a beautiful wedding. here comes
the bride. here comes the bride. 
their voice was the texture of 
fingers brushing against each other.
i cried & told the hands i was never 
going to love someone that much.
they ran their fingers through my hair.
the laced gold rings in between strands
& drew their fingertips across my scalp. 
i felt wonderful. i laid on my back 
in the attic where the air was musty & greenish.
the light shown in through the small
corner window. i raised my hands up 
towards the ceiling-- grasping handfuls
of roof--watched as my fingers filled with
rings. gold & copper & green & silver &
studded with jewels. it took me all night
to pry them all off. all the wedding rings 
of all my family members past--
all those bonds glimmering in a pile
on my bedroom floor. over time 
each ring expanded & thinned to nothing.
i thanked god each day until they 
disappeared. i still check each morning
to make sure my fingers 
are attached to my wrists.