gravitron 

held still against purple padded wall. 
a great whirling. blinking carnival light:
dull yellow & orange. trying to lift our arms.
heavy as a winter. heavy as an undiscovered planet.
space traveling in our shoulders--
pressing us tight. gravity was palpable then.
gravity liquid & feathered & bright.
my brother & i went on the ride again & again.
from a distance it resembled 
an alien ship docking at our local fair.
an experiment in movement. we were going to 
let the machine take us away.
fly over corn fields & then out 
into the murky dark where the stars buzzed 
like fat bright flies. as the ride started up 
we struck poses. i could look across
& see one boy with his arms behind his head,
relaxing as if this were a sleep machine. 
another girl tried to make herself small--
tried to tuck her knees into her chest
but the gravity pulled them down.
i spread myself out wide. a specimen.
a frog pinned down to a tray. i felt
the weight of each limb. i felt 
a wide sturdy hand pressing down on 
my torso. after the ride i would walk 
sideways & sit in the cool grass to recover.
the other riders did the same. 
my brother held his head in his hands
& shut his eyes.
was the ride a moment of escape
or change? maybe also a reminder of the body 
& all the joints & all the muscle.
when i was young i could sometimes
forget i had a body at all. i could
run & sweat & bleed & breathe 
all without noticing it.
what brought my bones into focus?
my fingernails? my teeth? 
the gravitron was just the start 
of many years of clasping. 
i pose against the walls of my room
but nothing holds me there.