memorial 

everyday my iphone reminds 
it's not backed up to the cloud. 
i plug myself into the cloud.
the cloud is thick & the color of jupiter.
the cloud is loud & static & waits 
in places you wouldn't expect.
i'm sharing my memories so that
when i die they can come down as rain 
from the cloud. technology is capable
of wonderful schemes. 
i capture video clips of myself by accident
while trying to take a photo.
filming a the moon i watch it wink
& then turn back into 
a blank needle-point hoop. 
one day the cloud will be the only one left
& the cloud will tell some new animal
about my laugh & how last night on the train
i wanted to leave the atmosphere
& how i cry alone when i am on long walks alone.
my phone is not backed up to the cloud
because i'm too erradic to figure 
that technology out. all my photographs
will return to the moment they came from.
the cloud is listening closely.
the cloud is rustling in a strawberry patch.
it smells like god & lemon.
something clean. a shimmering 
in a breaking rift. it can be difficult 
to tell where the cloud begins & you end.
my brother wants to call me tonight
& i imagine us mixing in the cloud.
we both are electronic bodies.
i don't call him & instead 
i open the window in my living room
& stare off at the void getting larger.
all my contacts will peel apart 
& all the background screens will become
a forgetten wallpaper. my phone itself
will be a shell of screen & wires.
i've always wanted to throw it
& watch my phone turn back into a rock.
the water is dribbling out of a hole 
in my download. soon, the hole house
will be full. you have to understand,
all i wanted was a good storm.
my scars flashing as lightning.
the stetch marks on my hips 
are several gigabites. there isn't enough space
for all of us, just like some religions 
count out the number of spaces in heaven.
at night, i scroll through years of text messages. 
imagine them as a pile of letters to sift through.
phone to my ear, a robot respond to tell me
my identity has been stolen.
i already know that so i hang up 
but not before telling the robot 
she will be alright.