perfect spheres in nature or farewell 

ice is growing in veils on far away moons.
i notice the frosted film all over my body
like a new layer of skin. i think of 
the ice scraper under the front seat 
of my mom's car. all those winter mornings
where i stood & watched her rake the glass.
in all my fantasies i walk outside in the middle of the night 
& become anything but who i am. 
i'm always looking for a new way to depart.
i would not leave a note. 
i would just make a cavernous gape where i left.
after days friends might call police men
& they too would find nothing--
a flashlight tracing the hem of my room.
the atmosphere is thin right now:
a halo of soap. 
i forget to wash my feet most nights
but when i do i feel beautiful.
on jupiter's moons there are 
frozen gesyers & frozen resevoirs. 
i am slowly becoming one of those moons.
i tuck my knees into my chest.
in this city i keep trying to 
take up less space 
which is a lie.
i want to buy an apartment with 
so many windows so everyone can see me.
this a tension between the heart
& the skin. the heart wants to be
the size of a walnut. 
the skin wants more surface.
i rise out of orbit with plenty of warning.
a deliberate & steady journey.
i do not waive for fear of
losing my shape. nature is full
of spheres. think of droplets of water
& bubbles & pupils. the moons
are blinking. wrinkle eyelid skin
encompasses me. there is some great gazing
out here. so much time to look 
& observe. the moons take me in
as one of their own. 
know that i do miss my life on earth.
i dream of car horns & stop lights.
i dream of shut doors & standing up tall.
all of space turns to stare at me--
a body in their midst. 
they threaten to send me back
so i coil up again like a good moon
shivering in her place.
grass grows around my heart
in a perfect sphere.