approaching summer  

the ice cream sandwich peeled open
to reveal the only staircase left.
a pathway towards a blinking nebula.
these are strange times dear reader
in which all the light bulbs 
are subject to tulip any day now.
i am asking that you not judge me
for how many Grindr dates i've stood up
in the last four years. 
i love the fantasy. 
let's live without materials.
i told one boy he was
the most beautiful man i'd ever spoken to
& then i made a date with him
inside a fig. he might be still waiting there. 
in a world without vanilla
how will we explain to our children 
what the whites of the eyes taste like?
on the sidewalk there are several options
for where to lay down.
i make beds out of any give crease.
i wonder if i have soulmates 
still waiting for me outside of museums.
probably not though because 
the soul is an invention best used
in poems & prayers. all my prayers 
are orange & frozen. i bought 
dreamsicles last year in case
they got discontinued. i couldn't imagine
living with myself knowing
i could never taste that again.
everything is getting discontinued these days.
god told the angles to go find something 
to do with themselves & now they're all on Grindr.
someone told me last week that spring
is always coming. i firmly disagree.
summer is always coming & 
the staircase is always getting wider
& crispier & fresher. the staircase is hot. 
the staircase is out of our league.
my legs are not suited for climbing
but are at least great for folding. 
no one likes short men but i'm not bitter,
really i am lucky. when they sky dislodges 
it will strike me last. one boy was too kind 
when i didn't show up. he said
any time. let's try anytime again.
desperation is something to be distrusted.
i don't want to need someone like that.
what is the relationship between love
& need? these days are full of sweating
& wishing my partner had eighteen clones of herself.  
i bet he tasted like citrus.
lemon all over his mouth. i haven't eaten 
a fruit in too long. a real fruit not like
a peach or a plum. something like a deep red apple. 
the next date i'm making is inside 
a cantaloupe. i know i won't go 
but i have to at least try.
i roll the week up into a scarf
& toss it just out of reach.
there are so many articles of clothing
just on my block. picture me
dressed in them all. the heat of clothe
almost like the impending july afternoons.