pigeons germination 

the pigeons take turns daring each other
to dodge cars as they rush down 6th avenue.
the pigeons are large today, some the size of 
capybaras & some even bigger. one passes me 
& it stands a few inches taller than most people.
pigeons are daring animals. my boss is a pigeon
& sometimes he takes his lunch break perched
on a lamp post cooing at women as they pass.
they find him endearing with his iridescenct feathers
& his little pouch of bird seed. i've caught him
poking holes in garbage bags before though. 
no one is a clean animal. i've seen humans too 
doing terrible things with their feet 
& their mouths. in broad daylight someone is 
almost always fucking in an alley way
if not on the sidewalk. keep moving. keep moving
i don't wish i was a pigeon but i do wish
i had a way to stand on rooves more easily.
there's one pigeon i pass everyday on my block.
he can't fly anymore so he just sits on the curb
waiting for people to leave trash bags there
so he can pick them apart. we're all eating garbage
though when you think about it. he prefers
pizza crusts. when i was a little girl
i caught a bird with my bare hands.
i held the bird tight & i asked 
will you please give me hollow bones. 
the bird promised it would so i released it.
i don't know whether or not i actually do
have the promised bones. each gust of wind
does sometimes feel like it will destroy me 
but i am not a bird & this is something
i have to cope with. the pigeons who dodge cars
die often. their bodies lay sprawled out
like art installations. sometimes people stop
to take pictures of the bodies. police come to check
they aren't human. their meat melts away
until there is only bone. i have resisted the urge
to pocket a bird skull many many times.
i'm scared the brain will still be there
& i will touch it somehow. what is inside 
should stay inside with the exception of blood. 
a car runs over the bones 
smashing them into glass fragments.
pigeons are terrible drivers
i think to myself even though i didn't see
who was driving. those could have easily been
my bones. another pigeon tries to sell me
a bag of roasted nuts from her street stand. 
i say no thank you & i keep walking. i hope tomorrow 
the pigeons are even larger.
i want to see a real pigeon. one to
pick me up & carrying me towards the sweet hot sun.
i want to test out the weight of my skeleton.