i will be so much more beautiful 

i take a curling iron
to my long phantom hair--
ringlets fall around my face.
a portrait of mary made of celophane.
what do you know about 
capture & likeness? 
i have very little to report 
about the body you see. the truth is
there is so much else going on
without evidence. now you see me.
now you never see me.
an invisible hand is reaching
for a new bright ledge. a ghost leg 
is making its way up a mountain trail.
here my body is though in a cardboard box
waiting on the porch. i count my moles 
like currency. a sapling starts sprouting
from the one on my back. i have no
statues of jesus to protect me here.
you can find a statue of jesus
doing just about anything: baseball,
soccer, painting. he is like a pigeon
stalking over my shoulder. this poem
is 100% about god or death, though 
i am not sure what i will tell you about either.
all i know is that no one will recognize me
in heaven. i will be so much more beautiful 
than i ever was on earth. my body will shift
each & everyday & even god 
will lose track of me. my soul
is as slippery as a lily dipped 
in olive oil. similes are always
absurd. i should have just told you
i am turning to grease because
that's the truth. a piece of bacon
is frying in an imagined pan.
grease pouring from meat. a jar of grease
turned opaque on the back of the stove.
argon oil is good for your hair & skin
but if you're not careful you will 
deep fry your hair. it is summer afterall
& people will start to notice 
you shrinking. oh my ghost body.
tall. the size of any give house. 
a t-rex self. hair as thick as yarn. 
no one is large enough for him. 
a jesus statue is swinging a baseball bat.
an angel is waiting
to be released from duty
back into an mourning dove. the calls
of birds through the window & my ghost hair
all knotted around each & every door knob 
in my house. i know i have to 
cut the phantom hair down to my scalp
but the it is lush & bleating.
steam pours from each of my fingertips.
a great fog in my soul.
i walk through it. feel for 
the walls of my house. this is what
my body looks like.

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