intrusive thoughts

i am a collage-rupture of doors. 
most days, my thoughts crowd
& collect elbow.
a wind tunnel.
a tuning fork. i cut my tongue
on a gust of air. he used to reach
for the door knob 
at the back of my throat. 
open. out comes another thrust.
a dead railroad overlooks the town.
did i say "thrust"?
i meant thrist. 
water is always
rushing away from 
pinnacle. what does
a goldfish taste like? how easy
would it be to jump over
cliffside. this is not my idea.
a serpent openned me 
& whispered. trees fall over
rotten amidst the forest
& no one mourns them. forget
about hearing. sound is 
a lush fallacy. 
maybe there are unseen funerals.
a thought rides a bicycle 
into a brick wall. my father
ties a knot 
around my wrist.
he crushed-orange breaks nose.
listen to me, 
nothing i tell you
& everything i tell you 
has happened.
i am a living parcing. this or that.
believe your eyelashes 
or pluck them out.
keep your porches eager
or take a hammer to them.
if you wait for me,
i have a whole row of teeth
i want to show you. light pressed
to a pupil. puddle swelling
with storm water. grey leaking
up through floor boards. 
a heart breaking into hydrangea:
cotton candy & blue. 
my last bruise
was a continent & all the people
tried to drown themselves 
in the surf of my skin.
i saved them with a scoop
of my hand. where are they now?
carn horns in clouds. 
the hallway is long & endless.
i want a passcode
to the fracture where
all these images errupt from.
a safe box shutters 
in the basement. i have
three fingers. i have six.
i have a hand down my throat.
i have a bedroom 
with one window.

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