circus / circular 

the ballon dart lands 
in my thigh muscle 
between meat & murk. 
feather tail protruding. becomes 
a bird. your circus funhouses me
into a bright whirling corner.
i wanted a popcorn fuck
& i wanted the glaze 
off the apple. where was the last
fairgrounds you sulked?
he was my first backyard 
& his swingset filled itself
with rusted nails. a merry-go-round
twists until it's as thin
as a hair. summertime
is for charades. 
i'm kicking my legs:
am i swimming or fighting 
for my life? a pool of water
dunks me. drenched, i crawl
to you & all your bells.
i was indebted to your ring.
you won me a giant stuffed angel
complete with blinking eyes.
your soul on a ferris wheel
looking down at all 
the freckle-people. i grab your hand
but it turns to taffy.
i touch my face
smooth as glass. i become
a mirror in the wrong light.
there are too many calories
in a twist ice cream cone
so i just eat a tablespoon
of sprinkles 
before they turn into
a swarm of colorful flies.
i am leaking out of myself.
all my blood gone caramel.
a boyfriend is a kind of
red button. i press you
over & over. when will you
launch me into the face
of the moon? oh firefly harvestor
oh funnel cake heart oh tower 
of frayed hair.
you leave me with
a chain of tickets. i try 
to exchange them 
for a flashlight 
or a kazoo. you took all my whimsy 
with you. you planted a tent 
in the living room.
lion after lion. a cow
chewing wires. who were you
to laugh at a light bulb?
you strung my flowers 
& neoned them all night.

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