07/29

ritual 

from now on i'm eating only
strawberry seeds. 
as we speak
there are diamond cutters
hunched over gems
making them more valuable.
their blades made of diamonds.
like them, i wear a magnifying glass
& i peer at my subject.
all dissections have nothing to do
with the specimen & everything
to do with what the artist
is looking to find.
i pluck seed after seed 
with tweezers & pour them
into the palm of my hand.
when i get 100 i pour them
into my mouth. there will always be
more diets to be exercised
but trust me this is not
a diet. this is a ritual.
a seed is a future. 
dull as beetle shells.
when eating only when object
you can really focus 
on the taste. in eighth grade
there were a few days i only ate
grapes & now i know everything
about their skin.
in my humming bird heart
i saw the history of grapes--
vines tangled with vines
& their pale white seeds.
diamonds cutting themselves.
strawberries, one by one 
on a plate to be plucked.
before we eat poultry 
we remove all plumage 
& the animal stands there
knowing what will happen next.
prickled pale flesh.
wings bare. a diamond
has zero calories because
it cannot be set on fire
or at least this is what
a Google search tells me.
anyway, i will stick 
to my strawberry seeds
& my processes. a process
for me is a kind of
survival. when i say process
i guess i mean ritual.
when i say ritual 
you could call it an obsession.
i fill rooms with strawberry seeds
in preparation for 
the end of season when 
no strawberries grow 
& there is only darkness.
no, i don't eat grapes
anymore they are too sweet
& diamonds, i have never had one.
the method is 
as important as 
the result. i did not want
to buy the seeds
i wanted to feel the moment
of resistance
before i pulled them
from the surface
of the fruit.

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