08/05

anti-litany for an emergency room 

thank you, chorus of hooks, 
for your bedside company. all i know
about death is off-white
& still microwaving. a toilet flushes
on the other side of the wall. 
who are you rowing
to the other side? a cell phone battery 
will not carry us that far. 
i call a god dowm metal-armed.
peer into my body 
with the right telescope. 
my heart is a bowling asking.
i want to live i want to live
i say with on ly 2 out 3 mouths.
the remaining 1 mouth is always
the traitor--we are moving now
from spine to wire. trace 
soul's vibrations. 
they can't probably ever
replicate the human brain digitally.
we will probably only ever be
flesh & flesh & flesh. this will not
be downloaded but maybe if placed
in the soil i would be television
into legend. when the demons said, 
"we are legion" they meant
they were all linking elbows 
before they jumped from the side
of the cliff. all those bible pigs.
they meant the skin will always get you.
only 2 out of 3 neons go ceiling.
will this be the right IV? do you like
living alone? maybe i don't know
maybe i don't know. i used to see
so many people al lthe time.
their thumb-prints like mandalas
on our doorknob. no one to call.
i live in a fishbowl without water
or scales. 10 stickers. what else
can we do for you? i want to feel
less real but totally safe. can you take away
all the sensation sounds. i feel
so loud & turquoise. do you want
to hurt yourself? of course i do--
has there ever been a kind of 
self preservation that doesn't involve
self harm. some people think the brain thing
is possible-- that once downloaded
you would just think differently.
i don't think so-- i think there are changes
that render us unrecognizable 
to even our memories. wash your hands
before entering. plastic cornucopia.
Oh arch! Oh emergency! deliver me soon.
a packaged fever for missing children.
the machine will know
what to do. i text a pigeon:
don't worry i am not at all dying 
just becoming a lab result. not my chest though
we are just experimenting 
with potential futures. uber doesn't find you
in these parts you need to follow 
a thread of light home.

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