09/05

alone-ism 

i insert a tooth pick into the moon. not done. 
preheat the sound of my voice to 450
where all the squash turn soft & edible. 
my phone is a cicada & i scream & it screams.
we all scream for tuesday.
why doesn't anyone like summer & sweat?
there's no point in being alive
if you don't get to feel burning blacktop. 
mars is full of the perfect kind of blood.
rachel told me if i ever need an organ
she's a universal donor. 
my blood type is negative something.
maybe sadness is in my blood.
everything hereditary is red. 
some families have heirlooms 
but my family just has the collective memory 
of a chicken coop in the backyard
where there now grows a pine tree.
mow the future. green every single sunday.
i miss the song you used to sing to me
when i was a girl & you were waiting
on the other end of a phone.
forgive me, i am a poet who abuses 
the "you." frank o'hara said
to put the poem squarely between 
you & another person. some asked me yesterday
if i live alone & i tried to search
for a way to say "no." this year
will implode & i do not have the proper gear.
mars is up there all full of blood
while people are dying. 
i take one of my syringes & i tell the planet
"i am doing this for humanity."
up on my roof i manage to prick the surface
& draw up the plunger. thick coarse blood.
mars cries because i've taken from him. 
i would feel violated too 
if someone stole my blood in the night.
actually, that happens often. 
i pay for sleep in vials of blood
to the demon with the moon face.
how long does you heart let you rest?
i miss you so very much. 
the void in the kitchen is stretching its arms
& reaching to open the front door.
inside i am safe. outside who knows
what kind of bears have claim on this street.
the moon is finally ready. crumbs rain down. 
one giant biscuit which i feel guilty about.
if i had company we would share this delicacy 
but instead i will divide it up
& save the rest in the freezer just like i do
with browning bananas & the blood of mars.
food for another day & another & another.
i promise i am trying to leave this house
but the solar system here is fresh 
& caramelizing. come again in a few years.

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