sleep eating what wouldn't you do for a mouthful of regrets? in my sleep i fork-knifed a planet. i slipped milk on the kitchen floor & left footprints all the way back to my bed. the lips are the worst of all organs. we forget the hinge but without it nothing opens. all my bones have diaries. all my teeth dangle on strings. little hangmen. what have i done to deserve memory? i used to keep a food journal like some girls keep a list of boy they have crushes on. i am in love with what keeps me alive. i drank orange soda from a bowl. got on all fours. bit chunks out of the drywall. sleep destruction. scampering. can one ever be free of a construct? i punish hunger. oh god of problematic disorders let me learn to love the fat on my body. i have no dreams to remember just a wanting that cuts through from sleep to wakefulness. sleep driving to the store to buy the last birthday cake ever. no more birthdays will ever happen & here i am. no party. to devour. a bare handful. blue dye. i consumed like winter eats daylight. steady & then only one more bite. even washed off the evidence in the shower. drain brimming with crumbs & melting frosting. crawled back under covers no morning recollections. no, not true. i am pretending to not remember. it is almost november & soon the year will want nothing to do with me. i set my lips on the end table. a sliver of gold light enters through the corner window.