pin cushion 

kept my mouth open
for any slice of terror.
men are eager for their
portions of fear.
i wanted to be sliver-filled. 
an ache
on an eyelid. 
the needle slipped 
into skin. how easily
a sharpness can 
walk through a sheet 
of noise. how do you 
hold your tongue?
how do you keep 
your basement-longing 
away from the inspectors?
i ate a crown from
my father's skull 
& pinned it to 
the ceiling. 
the dresses are 
falling apart
from their own 
grief. we amble home
on polka dots & i break
every promise i once 
held onto like a guard rail.
who are we going 
to sacrifice this year?
the altar is murky.
i am lusting for 
the wooden banister.
let's ride ourselves 
downward towards
that one bright underworld.
a dragon protects 
my irises from sunlight
& i beg for just a glimpse.
you press your face
to the window & breath 
a mask between us.
my palm full of pins 
there isn't much else
to be read there. 
take one. leave one.
help me keep the planets 
from breaking orbit.
seduce the moon
into her greatest size.
what else swells 
with longing? pinned 
to the tree in the backyard 
& forced to watch 
the bats fish bugs
all night. a father
burying night lights
with the skulls of rats.
a mouse beneath the fridge
saying two words
as a prayer. a pin
in his back soon 
to hold him in place.
adhered to my bed
like a ghost. the sheets pulled away
& turned into a blanking flag.
i never meant to be
so scared of you.