salvation is waiting at the back of a Hot Topic i paint my nails black in my sleep. kiss a window. break an 8-ball. i woke up in 2010 & went back to sleep. the sun was brighter & the global warming had less of a grip. snow tasted less like metal & more like foliage. the mall was less of a cathedral & more of a mirage. i wanted time to leave me alone. do you want to forget being sixteen? when i was sixteen i wanted to forget being sixteen. my skin was softer. i ordered blue color contacts on Amazon. i used to hope i could make one of the Hot Topic sales people fall in love with me if i stayed long enough. asked the right questions. one pink haired boy folding band t-shirts in the corner. i had an extra eye & one less knee. i stole pins-- filled my pockets with their little poems. my friends were all trying to smoke on a porch. a roof was a flyleaf page. i put on fingerless gloves to feel the texture of every shoulder. stared at the case of body jewelry & considered where else i could put holes in my skin: an earlobe, a belly button the arch of my eyebrow. filled my stomach with neon belts. stared up at a galaxy dress & dreamed of being a specific kind of muse. made circles around the store picking up & putting down items. mostly, not buying anything but feeling like there had to be something i was missing. some other jacket or dress or shirt that could make me feel punk. outside the store, everyone in the whole mall was eating a pretzel. i sat on a bench & cradled a flip phone. planned to dye my hair purple. planned when i could come back again. all my friends with their black boots. my bare feet on linoleum. laying in bed & staring up at the bunk bed lattices. good morning again, it's 2010.