04/07

CD brother

played prism wheels on the car
on the way home from the emergency photo album.
both in need of haircuts, we talked
about jupiter & her many boomboxes.
you have been trying to convert. i have
been trying to reach the top shelves
to find where mom keeps the extra key.
there is a song that stop playing
only when we put something else in
& a brother who only exists inside
the song on track 14. eating takeout 
from the garbage city. forks twiddling 
in our hearts like antenae. neither of us
are every very hungry but you take liberties 
with air. stretch a breath across 
a violin belly & call it music. stuff night
inside boots & walk carefully
on a little carpet rolled out 
from the ceiling light. you taught me
how to ascend into the popcorn machine.
brain are bursting every other second
in the heat of our faces. the song ends
& it's just the two of us killing time
with plastic bow & arrows. stomaching
the spider dances: waltz & waltz again.
soup can full of lost teeth. 
drinking water from the forbidden fountain 
& feeling freshly sinful. who left
the hose running? well it became
a brief river. dipped in our toes
& kicked the bottom to find
ear buds lodged in the mud. 
my brother & i have too much & 
too little in common. he sleeps
with his hands folded in prayer 
& i sleep with my face off on
the nightstand. crave that dark 
anonymity. plays music from his 
eyes & mouth. endless. jazz & chants 
& folk & gospel. flips a CD over 
& presses his finger to the clear surface
just to hear the sound of his own fingerprint.
asked me i wanted to try & i said
"no way" even though of course
i was painfully curious. instead i pressed
thumb to window. left the print there
& visit it still like a shrine--
a staircase to be obversed but never
taken all the way down.
my brother sometimes snapped CDs in half
if they disobeyed him. left those
color-hungry wings in the garden.
took my shoes off to walk
in that soft dirt & hear those 
fissured songs. brother with 
his tie undone. me with my 
face on the clothesline. counting 
the seconds before the song 
starts over again from the top. 

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