in the absence of queen bees we bejeweled our eyes & worshipped them. attic dust floating across afternoon light. i was just a honey worker. bringing whatever sweet language i could find. gold in my teeth. promises to breathern. "we will get through this." my optimism like a flute in the dark. listening to my brothers as they arrived as dead batteries. as the comb turned grey with worry & age. my own machine-wings becoming stained glass windows through which little people came to peer through. everyone is a church. has the possibility to contain worship. this can be terrible or it can be a joy. my congregation did not remember how to sing. the other bugs came to watch us. we tried to crown a cicada but she could not learn to bask in honey. ants came as they always to do a carcass. i could no longer even remember the queen's face, only that it glinted like a belt buckle as she closed her eyes & spoke with god to request every single one of us. in my desperation i shook a sibling awake. i said "i could do it. i could be queen." he laughed sadly & told me what i already knew. it was too late for queens. we were orphaned in the shell of our home. he said, "would you like to go drink night flowers with me?" i said, "of course." so we did. in the glow of the moon we drink lillies. let pollen cling to our thighs. huddled in the great shadow. hip to hip. we saw the hive from a distance. little cathedral crumpling in. the leaves yellowing in the oak tree where we used to flock.