my new york city boyfriend has a metro pass but teaches me how to jump the turnstyles. makes me feel like a backpack slung over his one shoulder. there are skyscrapers in his closet & he tells me we can take it slow. in his mind, "slow" means we will get married by midnight & in the cool morning we will be nothing but a noted subway stop. car horns live in his eyes. he holds my hand & walks like a metronome. wind tunnel buildings. pigeons roosting on his shoulders. he feeds stray poets & birds. plants a tree in his living room to "reconnect with nature." on a street corner he confesses "there is a bookshop in your teeth." i turn a new page. on the train we do not sit side by side but rather across from each other. he says he's sketching a museum of me in his head. i have always wanted to appear how i do with him, as if my life is both effortless & haphazard. the grime of the subway station asks too many questions like "what does it mean to be temporary?" & "how long should you pause?" he gives me a stoplight necklace. red red red. i struggle with the desire to stand still in every rush of legs. in the village, we are truly lovers. i kiss him like catastrophe & he drinks an espresso in one gulp. walks ahead of me. looses a wallet & says "oh well." the moon doesn't arrive like my lunar phases app said it should. he says, "don't worry i'm the moon now." neither of us glow. his windows have no blinds so we become moving portraits for whatever finds us. as i knew it would, morning comes & his apartment is another apartment. mine is a box on the street corner. i have learned so well how to be ready to go. find a skyscraper in my pocket. this is how i know he still thinks of me.