in my gender i am one of three bears.
i cull the forest for freeways.
hitchhike like only a devil can.
when i was small i snuck away often
in search of something beauitful
to devour me. i cut off my hair
in slices. fed each to a ghost
who lived in a rotted tree.
to invite yourself in to every vacancy 
is to decide there is no such thing
as righteous empty. the nothing
belong in the hands of angels
who have more experience with hollow.
instead, young & fearless,
i drank from fountains of mud.
slept in the beds of monsters
only to find mirrors above 
my slumber. there i was full of teeth
staring right up. the animals
emerging in me. my pelt hung 
on the bedframe. pink & un-skinned.
i could have been demolished.
collected all three of my tears
from the hard wood floor. 
in another room a mother is always
readying her rope. a father is 
forgetting the important 
of his ring of keys. a baby is
trimming the edges off gender.
rolling a ball through the thick woods.
just to have it returned
by the bear versions of ourselves.
of foraged my way through autumn.
light under my fingernails.
shaved my head until 
my hair grew back brown.

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