long ago i taught my goldfish
how to come when they're called.
the world is a water wake.
caskets of diamonds &
an ocean as deep as a planet.
if given enough room
goldfish swell huge as koi.
i am thinking of how
every want i had once fit inside
bowls of water. look how huge they are now.
i ask for impossible justices
in the form of wings & fins.
goldfish pass over head
like the sun's messengers.
light making each scale glow.
organs like nestled kingdoms.
i cut gills in my own throat
with a pocket knife. i am learning to
live on fish food & following
a herd of goldfish. i ask them
what they know about gold but
all they can say is, "we are
on our way." i am not on my way anywhere
& i am worried neither is anyone else.
however, i might be moving away.
drifting. a ghost ship populates
with skeletons. i swim deeper.
see where the water is swelling
in both directions. soon the sun
will be a bowl. tapping the glass
& saying, "come." the fish moving
like stained glass, coming to take
a bite from my fingers. i used to be
master & now i am hungry.
nothing the right command couldn't fix.
looking for a mirror to
talk to myself. finding only
more of my kind. goldfish & more goldfish.
a maze of bowls. the glass making
our eyes in to catacombs.
each day i wake up & ask
for far too much. i should learn
i should learn something new
& bright & wonderful. the water tells me
there are enough handfuls of gravel
in the world to eat algae off of.
do i believe in feathers? in birds?
in gold at all?