i went to take off my humans suite
but the zipper was stuck
on an ideal image. taking the beautiful off.
i'm not a very good person but at least
neither is anyone else. i'm getting away
with something. looking in the mirror
feeling all the sparrows that could be
inside me. how easily i used to take off
my body. i look out the window & wait
for a squirrel to shed himself
into a stray cat or a swarm of bees.
did you know bees just sleep all winter?
what a life. i can't ask anyone else for help
but i want to. i want to so badly.
a suite is a thing for mothering.
i wash mine in the bathroom sink
like fnacy lingerie. then i'm thinking
would it be so bad for my lover to see me
as i become a red-tailed hawk?
sometimes i look at her & think
"i hope she's been a snake." i don't believe
in do-overs. i think it's all happening
right now. i took one day off last october
& spent it being a opossum &
not answering a single email.
now i have emails under my eyelids.
all of them are nonsense or tradgedy.
i hit "reply all" to my whole species.
the lines are blurry & some monkey
get the missive too. i buy a fishline
to hang up my body to dry.
in the meantime living as three
parokeets. is everyone else asleep
or am i just finally on a new planet.
look what i've done. cutting
the zipper off. haven't you ever wanted
to dig a hole & watch it close behind you?
a depth is a place measured by yearning.
i am edging towards the center of the earth
with only my feathers.
i want you to grab me
by the neck & stuff me back inside.
rub my shoulders & say,
"this is your body." of course
that would be untrue. it's not quite.
to be a body doesn't it have to be
just a little communal?
if it wasn't for the zipper
i would walk all the way to the river
just to splash the water in my face.
i see a blue bird take his body off
& become the mailman. i'm happy for him.
hope the route doesn't take too long.
i'm also trying to get back
to a branch i'm forgetting.