paper submarine

i keep saying "this is going to be okay"
when the water is saying, "you are
a dead boy." i found the ocean 
like a fist. bruises it gives me. fish in the deep 
with eyes made of light bulbs. i thought
i knew how to dive, to swim. ignored every ship wreck. 
sometimes we think we can will the truth. 
i am not drowning. i am not drowning. water pressure.
weight of all the planets. their boney shoulders.
i am not just trying to put out a fire.
opening my mouth. fingers trying to find my gills.
the vessel is not a vessel. it is an unsound bridge.