translucence i used to be a whole. maybe not in this life but in others. i stood for a portrait & a painter made a butterfly bush of me. color coming in tongues. oil paint. dried plums. i have given up all joy i found in being tangible. now, i crave a tracing paper life. skin swims with shrimp. frosted winter windows. i keep only a finger in this world & all the rest in the next. forfeit my shadow. i wake up early so i can hold my phantom hours. move about the house. a centipede. a moth. find myself in the front lawn. cars pass & their headlights walk right through me.