driveway poem

take me almost & into the throat
of a wild. yourf headlights come in
through the window like takeout boxes.
there was a time where i would sit
& wait for you to come home
with my head in a salad bowl.
do you remember sitting inside
a basket of peaches. your teeth fall out.
you go under the knife in search 
of your mother's wedding ring.
pretending to fall asleep, i issue a warning
to all women in a hundred-mile radius.
i am gay now & need someone to run away with.
it's not easy tending the liminal spaces 
of the world. there is always 
a long lost. there is always someone
with a camera slung around their neck.
i bring paper ballots & close calls.
i try to talk to you & sometimes i wish
you were still my girlfriend. it's like
spitting to try to determine 
the direction of the wind. messy 
but accurate. let's not forget the night it rained
& you had to wear my clothes.
were we girlfriends then? i know the truth is
i want to remember you as something
you weren't. or else i want to 
reach my hand into histry & say,
"this is how it actually was."
you turn off the engine. the driveway is dark.
do we kiss in the front seat or do you
become the gravel beneath my shoes?