fear of being left out

the street lights around 
having a coven meeting with out me.
i hear them talking about 
the length of shadows they can paint.
mostly i believe everyone 
has a mouth i cannot see & they are using it
to have a joyful without me.
there are underworld words 
everyone is speaking, saying,
"let's go to the grotto
after he-she is in bed." i want to
be in all rooms at once. 
to be summoned like a demon
in a circle cut into the ground.
when i was a duckling i always heard
the other kids playing with their
digital dogs without me. my dogs 
were sick. hungry. the light
of my DS screen making a statue
out of me. no one teaches you
how & when to be alone. instead
they tell you to make cut flower lives.
here is the vase. go & fall in love.
i eat soil. drink water from the hose.
make phone calls to my father
that he does not return. he too
is having a coven meeting
by the light of the waning crescent.
tell me, how did you learn to belong here?
do you belong here?