why i use it/its pronouns

because i am the hive 
& the ant hill. because i am
the broken cup we found on the beach.
how we marveled at the handle
still intact. edges rounded by salt water
& seagull gossip. because sometimes
at night i walk out of my body
& go out to collect the stories
of the rocks & the stones.
because once i had a police offer 
stand over me & laugh & say,
"what is it?" i hands were bleeding.
did he not see my hands were bleeding?
because a child is 
a graph of grief. or, at least, i was.
each day another fissure. learning the world 
was somehow too small for me.
i spent whole weeks with my feet
not touching the ground. 
a doctor told my parents
with his worried-man face,
"we are concerned." because i am 
concerning. because sometimes 
other children would ask me out
as a joke. i wanted so badly
for them to not be joking. because 
i know wanting to be wanted. because
i am an architect of yearning. because
often my eyes fall out of my head
& i have to chase them. because
i am human. because i am not.
because most days when my body calls to me
i do not answer. 

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