bone makers

in the fallow time 
we ate from each other's tangerines.
i gathered the fat of an ancient animal
to make a fading balm. rubbed
over & over into flesh & then it was
all gone & we had to find bones
for one another. i made yours
& you made mine. i carved each
from a different precious voice.
the birds & the water & the wind.
i have seen people sometimes claim
they have made themselves. this is always
a lie. everyone knows that 
you cannot make your own bones.
they have to be gifted. one by one.
i sometimes wish you hadn't made
all of mine. i did not make all of yours.
there was the collar bone from the mouth
of a megalodon. you had that when
i met you. i always wanted to ask 
who had given it to you but i never have. 
just traced it with my finger. felt
the fossilized teeth. i guess i had a bone too.
a little hammer. the ear bone.
my father crafted it on a whim from a match stick.
he said, "never listen too closely."
it is my little waiting fire. 
i want you to love me like you did
when you found me. when nectar
ran down my face & we ate as much
as we could. when we went one bone
at a time. i gave you & you gave me
until we were skeletons & the stars 
had eyelashes & they all wept. rain on
my car roof. your fingers without any hair.
the last bones were the teeth. mouths open.
then closed. tongues like oars 
of an urgent ship. god i miss you.