spoonfeedings

if you really love me i want 
to be the airplane mouth. 
i want you to cut down a tree
& carve me boxes to keep all my eyes in.
it's tick season out here which means
everyone is crawling around in
each other's hair. i really do 
want to spend forever with you
but i know it's going to turn me
into a sock puppet. my father
& i liked to make puppets as kids.
we always used pennies for eyes.
copper & glinting. a flower blooms
in the toilet. i flush it down.
i have gotten to the point where
i judge what is beautiful based on
what you'd think of it. i hedge my bets.
i hide what i can. i open my mouth 
& wait for the freight train to plow
down my throat. i am opening cabinets 
in your heart looking for something
to nibble on. sweet & salty. you tell me
you need me to sleep in the yard
with the goats. i weep with joy.
it is all i've ever wanted to finally 
become a ruminant. another stomach
to keep my sadness. the sweet smell
of fresh hay. the moon, spoonfeeding
us stories about the old earth where
there were only candles & then
even before that when the dark 
tasted of melon. you sleep longer than me.
i wake up. my teeth hurt from grinding them.
i thought i was sleeping but maybe i wasn't. 
there's a tick on my leg. i have 
pennies for eyes. the sun, a penny too
flips herself. lands on heads.