bad apology for turning into a centipede & running wild

i'm sorry you feel 
that way. i thought you would
have loved to see the bottom
of the table like a sky 
with me. the truth is i long
craved the dampness of the world
between the shower curtains. hungered
to feel you thrum in the dark. 
you were the one who tried
to put me in a human face. danced me
like a solider in the middle of
a blazing night. i was always
this way. i did not change.
instead, i bloomed. the more legs 
& more hearts the more i learned 
you could not take me. i wept on 
the floor of the attic. tried to take
my body apart. put my skeleton 
beneath flesh again. instead, this was
what i needed to be. i stand on
the ceiling in a house that belongs
to neither of us. you are asleep
with paint swatches in your mouth. 
i don't know why you have to
live me as a betrayal. you could 
have come into the cool creases
of dusk with me. drank the orange light.
i am sorry you are a small man 
incapable of alteration. i am sorry
you believe in an imagination-less god 
who doesn't know what to do with
your body. me, i will be in 
the soil worshiping the warmth
of the ready earth.