slideshow

my sibling & i wake up sometimes 
in the middle of the field behind 
our parents' house. there are horses 
& there are cisterns we could fall down.
i am always the only one with a camera.
i keep it a secret. i used to be unsure 
of where the photos went. that is until
one day i was visiting our parents & the slideshow 
started. a projection on the wall
of the living room. us in the corn & 
the sky like a plate of bugs. no one else
could see the slides but me & my sibling.
they looked confused. they begged me
to make it stop. the projection came
from somewhere else. a light 
without a source. it is hard to share 
a dream. there is a tug of all the desires
the other ghost has. my sibling & i have
always been like two gulls, our feathers
iridescent in the purple dark. in the slideshow
were pictures of us at the park & 
us at the overlook on the other side 
of town & us on the phone
on a midnight where i asked them if
i could be a hole in the moon & if i was
going to survive. our story is of twin
eclipses. our shadows devour each other.
in the dream though there is always comfort.
relief. like finally it is just us 
& the field. a breeze turns our bones to grain.
they are always the first one to leave.
the slideshow always ends with 
the latest picture i have taken. i do not 
know why i can't tell them that i have
a camera. that my eyes cull marbles
from our faces. sometimes they will
show me their journal. inside are so many
slideshows. slideshows inside slideshows. 
the light ends & then it is just an open window
& the blue walls & our parents 
like shovels leaning against the wall.