sadie hawkins dance

i get my gender from the gymnasium 
covered in streamers. there were boys
without teeth & boys without fingers
but never boys without eyes. 
i made myself a plate & waited like
a mailbox. i have something for you.
i have a place for us to pretend. i remember
the thrill of the boundary. what would 
it mean to be the boy in the blender.
the one i liked was not kind. he no bones
but plenty of bedrooms. even the dark
beneath a tree can be a bedroom 
if the boy you know is hungry enough. 
i had my own faults too. i wanted to
be loved which was a real shame 
in the four walls of a sneaker-chirping place.
that night it was still summer-hot. 
maybe september or maybe may's unfurled
tongue. farm field breath in the sky.
i remember the parking lot. a night sky
without the stars. i took off my shoes. 
he did not carry me. you never arrive
at what you crave by asking for it.
the moment it becomes a request 
it looses that plum-hunger. becomes a need. 
i needed to be a boy. i needed too for 
the boy to be a rocket ship. i do not know
what he needed. maybe my skin. maybe
just my mouth. we did slow dance. 
was it a relief? i do not remember. i just
remember the sweat afterwards. 
he was much taller than me. the space
beneath him, a bedroom.