lost river caverns behind my knees

we all knew the caverns were 
a mouth-- 
skull full of calcite 
teeth-- the altar of a 
jaw bone-- you fill my
skull with bells-- let's
elope to the caves at the edge
of town-- the ones without 
spiders or snakes-- crawl
in the darkness where
the stone itself is too
alive to touch-- i told
you last week i wanted to run
away to the space behind my 
knees where the hair grows scraggly
& the tendons of my legs
make a space for me to hide myself--
i turn off the lights--
we are people of so many little
spaces-- bend down to sit with me--
i don't know where my 
blood is traveling anymore--
our lost rivers speak like
tongues through the caverns teeth--
i want to follow them-- let
the walls take me in--
make me into a stalagmite-- an obelisk
jutting out from the gums--
come back here & drop wet leaves
on me like bouquets-- 
i came here to tell you that
i love you like the space
behind my knees--
that there are rooms inside
me that you have to crawl to
on all fours-- open only in a drought
when they're not so flooded with
misplaced blood-- i'm still trying to
figure out where it comes
from & where it goes--
in the caves they told us they tried
to trace the origins of the 
lost river by filling it with
ping pong balls & i imagine 
maybe you could feed me marbles &
see if they end up under your tongue--
i want to know where it goes--
where all this blood could be going--
most nights i feel like i'm sleeping
under my mother's metal lids again--
the ones she used to keep my food warm 
while i decided if i was allowed to 
eat or not--
i wanted to wriggle beneath metal
hem & live in the warm & damp--
leave me here in this skull 
but remember i loved you big
enough to fill every empty space
ever filled by a river
still searching for a home--
you caused floods you were so full
of bells & every
time i try to follow the river
it gets me lost behind my knees--
if i leave the sun will seem wider
& i will seem smaller again
but inside the caverns of my 
own head i can turn on the lights 
& keep myself company--
we take tours down here occasionally
-- we have a chapel
& people used to get married in front
of the biggest wall of calcite--
now it's quiet & only the algae 
hums hungry when the lights go
out-- you would like it here-- behind
my knees
swallow ping pong balls with me--
lets get lost in our veins--
let's reach down as stalactites--
make chandeliers of our teeth & 
turn off the lights to
fill this cave with the sound
of our teeth growing again--
listen for the ghosts of faint bells 
& the clamor of a metal lid being lifted--
i am the girl beneath it who filled their skull
with cavern tours & 
lost rivers dyed red--