your red knot sister

i'll leave binoculars out for you,
for the next time i come home--
i'll set them on the staircase
up to the attic-- we're the 
bruises from our 
mother's african violets-- 
the finger prints no one
wipes off the glass--
misshapen purple thumbs--
this time you can watch for me--
see the embers burning to ash
across my back 
from tierra del fuego--
i'm flying back again from
a land of fire-- watch
as i drop my feathers
like atomic bombs-- shouting
all your bodies into shadows
on the living room walls--
we can make puppets 
out of our fingers 
we can pretend to be small 
enough again to hold the moon 
by its juicy white rind--
cut up the darkness 
& leave it in a metal bowl
in the sink-- 
spit stars out like seeds--
our father was always a watermelon
knife-- taught both of us
how to carve smiles our
of green jaws--
i want to know what it's like
to love a red knot-- the
bird with the longest migratory 
pattern-- the
bird whose home is an orbital path--
how does it feel to
watch me waver from here & there?
how could you love someone 
who can't help
but be in constant flight away 
from themself-- 
our father was like
this too-- 
in departure from his own fire--
sliced his teeth into the sink--
i drop my eyes on the beach like
horseshoe crab eggs-- angry orange
suns a glow in the absence 
daylight--
i waver in between-- a throat choked 
on all the words-- 
you wait for me to come back
as i always do-- 
the migratory sister-- a thumb
print on the outside of the window--
i'm going where i can set the snow on fire.
i stop on my way to the artic in our
back yard & we sit in the grass
beneath the christmas tree whose roots
we un-balled & taught how to take a fist
full of earth-- you tell me
to stay five minutes longer &
(like always) i leave early--
ducking under covered bridges & stopping
at a wawa to drink a diet orange soda
while i sit alone on my own bumper--
you see me with your binoculars 
as you look out from the attic-- i always
come back-- a body in migration & 
flame-- the sun coughed to make me &
to spite her i don't stop running--
a smoke signal reminding you that 
when all else fails you can always 
run-- fill your mouth with sun & 
drop feathers like bombs or
promises-- both equally as destructive
& equally as likely to leave shadows 
on the living room wall.