when the bottom falls out of the bathtub &
your body becomes a monstrous rain

face-up in the bathtub 
i puffed out my stomach to
use as an island for my plastic
apatosaurus & rubber ducks.
the yellow ducks' bellies 
were full of
suds & when you squeezed them
their beaks bubbled a sticky foam.
they walked cautiously 
on the breathing island
before dipping back into 
the bathtub-- floating like
rigor mortis leaves
dropped in a stream--
i loved how small water 
made me feel-- 
my hair was full of monstrous
rain-- the type that 
snare drum smacked 
windows-- i was the girl
who always found a way to
get her clothing soaked--
water poured in
through to the storm clouds
in my marrows-- filled my
socks with minnows & my
sleeves with water reeds.
i pulled the shower curtain 
closed so i could be more alone & pretended 
it was a curtain to a great magician 
show. it hid the girl 
with amphibian skin & the water was
darker now & more ominous--
submerging myself in the dimly
lit water. i felt the bottom
fall out of the bathtub
& my body start to sink.
my arms & my legs got
lighter & my hair unfurled like
a spilled pot of spaghetti--
i was scared to open my eyes but when
i did everything was dark-- the ocean
beneath me was resting & 
i felt the bodies of fish
brush past across my thighs.
down around my toes a strand of
kelp tickled my heel & i laughed my
lungs full of salt water.
i sank further & further until the 
ocean became dotted with angler fish 
lights & bio-luminescent bodies
who seemed to make neon signs 
in the water-- i wasn't scared of
the angler fish like most people
would be because she was so much
like me-- crooked teeth & 
flashlight & fear of the dark--
i followed her to her own bathtub
& there we both laid face up again 
to look up at the whole ocean
above us-- we could see my brother
in his blue swim trunks & 
the yellow rubber ducks 
gargling foam--
when i open my eyes i'm surprised 
to find myself still 
in the bathroom-- the bottom 
restored to the bathtub-- i touch
it with my open hand to see
if it might fall-out again.
i sit up & my body folds onto itself
which always makes me feel like
a hippo or an elephant--
this is back when i was young
enough to not mind being a hippo
or an elephant-- 
i sit on all fours & dip my hair
down in the water
like a paint brush
i let my
body fill with another
monstrous rain 
& i turn on the shower head
to walk through
the amazon river
on all fours-- the piranhas
nibbling on my knees-- 
when i get out & dry myself in the
towel i look back at the
tub & i feel like everything
is so small & i want to know
who else can fit the world
inside a bathtub-- 
i hope to see you some day 
on all fours in the amazon--
we can spot tropical birds &
maybe we can take baths with 
the angler fish-- push
harder on the bottom of 
your bathtub-- listen to
your body so you know
when you want to rain--
drop yourself like a bowl
of watercolors or 
like the shattering of the 
bottom of the bathtub 
into the great deep ocean--