in the hopes the fog would take me

i took a walk in the hopes
the fog would take me--
put my hood up to get rid
of my face--
the street lamps look
sanctified-- all cloaked
in mist-- they wink at me 
& stop lights
kiss each other while
i'm not looking--

tonight i could be the only
human left on earth
i think to myself 

because there's no
one else with you
in the fog & even your
body starts to seem
foreign--

when a car goes by 
i pretend it's just 
an angel--

i feel my body 
expanding-- growing vast
& wide 
the tiny droplets 
of water breathe heavily on
the necks of the trees--
the maples kiss each 
crimson-red leaf before
they drop them to the sidewalk
like young birds who have
to learn to fly--

like all bodies,
the mist will
leave & when it does
i hope it takes me up with it--

i want to be a cloud--
i want so badly to rain
& to be gray--
i want to feel thunder boil
in my veins--
i want to fall in the corn
field-- drip from
telephone wires & rush down
main street to get dirty 
from the road--

i want to wash everything--
the front side of the moon--
the leaves that couldn't open
their wings--
the song birds beneath tree branches
teaching their children about
the body of the rain--

i want so badly to rain &
to fall heavy on your umbrella 

this sacrosanct street is
full of bodies of which
i am only one 
     & also them all

i want to rain so i can
feel what it's like to tumble
off the tops of your shoes--

wipe me off your cheek

this is a hapless prayer
to the fog to take
me when you decide to
crawl back upstairs--

i want to rain 
i want to rain
i want to rain