ripen

let's eat the green
bananas from
a top the fridge--
i was not ready to
be naked for
you-- but
there we were
in the patience
of each other's
shadows-- peels
in the trash can--
fingers caught
in mouths of string--
we are never
ready are we?
i keep
waking up
in kitchen cabinets--
i ask my
father to unpeel
the clementines
still in the basket
hoping one
of them will be me--
i have been waking
up in the back yard--
i have been remembering
my tooth pick sinews--
my stale popcorn
marrow-- 
buttery &
cold in the morning
on the kitchen counter--
handful by handful--
let's eat our
oranges 
sliced in smiles--
teeth still stung
from tooth paste--
impatience is
the first sign you
are in too much love--
it's rising--
up to your neck--
do you remember
how you
learned to tread
water?
do you remember
the intimacy
of swim lessons?
how it was the first
time you learned what
your body felt like
when touched?
this is self-love
making--
this is the
bitter white
strawberries 
who were picked too
soon & will in fact
never ripen
no matter
how long you leave
them 
in the door of 
the fridge--
i'm still persuading
the red out from
under my skin--
i'm still learning
what kind of
naked i want to be
& there you came
along & ate
green bananas with
me-- 
& there you came along
& woke me up
from the back yard
& told me to come inside--
they say the apple
doesn't fall far
from the tree
& out there in
the frosted stubble
grass i was looking
higher & higher--
what kind of
branch could 
have held a body
like mine?
i was green & 
fresh when you
loved me--
i was a clumsy
dive
into a chlorine 
thick pool--
belly slapped
from impact--
you were the water--
the 
hard thick vast
water--
the finger nail
beneath
the skin of
the orange--
ripening is a myth
you know?
no matter
how many nights
you wait
in the heat
of the freckled
sky 
you will never be
as vibrant as you are
now--
your skin the
color of
limes-- there's mint
leaves
in your teeth--
stop waiting--
i want to
learn to stop
waiting for
myself-- stop 
trying to dig
the syrups
& the sugars from
my arteries 
saying
this this
this
will make you 
love me--
this will make
me taste better
so i say 
lover let's
eat the green
bananas from
on top of the fridge
i have no patience
for mornings--
i am ripe--
i am treeless
i am stale
i am so so 
anciently green--
when you find
me asleep
in the yard 
know that the
sound of
the clouds will
wake me--
i'm not asking
you to wait
for me-- 
i'm just
saying 
you can