continuity 

your mother used
to say that you should be 

a continuity editor

someone who notices 
slight changes between 
clips of the movie--

the coke bottle shifted 
to the left-- the baseball
hat turned backwards--

laying in your
bed in the flicker of
television you'd pause
the movie & point 
out the amending position
of the sun--

you'd pause me as i stood
up & searched the carpet
for my bras & my t-shirt--

you'd rewind me back under covers
where you'd stand on
my freckles like 
stepping stones--

loving you was so much
like making a movie--

calling "cut"

the walls were made of camera
lenses 

continuity: meaning 
the unbroken & 
consistent existence

i don't wear dresses anymore 
& i don't eat greek
yogurt like i used
to on your porch with the
espresso spoons--

i don't read the bible
& i don't want to move
to the city--

do you still want to 
by a house on the 
shore in Maine?

i see the foundations 
slipping into the rocky shore
like glaciers--

i won't ask you to
be a continuous person--

this time i'm the one
with the video-- 

the one with the rewind 
button-- 

i put your clothing back on
only your shirt is inside out--

i kiss you like
the back of my hand--

this is for all the times
you opened my mouth
to pull out the film--

peering at each frame 
& combing for 
a scheme for me--

did you notice 
when i counted
calories on  
my phone calculator?

did you you know i set
timers so that i would
be home before ten?

stepping in the squeaky
white screen door 

shoelaces undone--

i want to tell you that
i've spent too many nights 
in dark rooms--

peeling pictures out
of my skin &
developing them into
memories--

as if i could ever 
hold us still 

do you remember
when i said i wanted
children?

when i said i wanted
to be a doctor 
& slip into
your last name--

that i wanted to 
write romance novels with it?

i peel apart your 
name letter by letter
like the lobes of a clementine--

i don't know if
i loved you

but over a period of time
we became 
irreconcilable bodies--

cameras gaping with
their red record buttons--

you peel my bra
like the label 

of a coke bottle