Dear Christine Blasey Ford,

i first knew that 
an ovary was an appendage
when i felt it make 
a fist. to bear witness,
to bare a body. 
god is made of wood
& he knows us machines.
i want to make sense 
for you.
the boys who have been
boys & will die boys
who i will maybe someday 
summon me. i have
never reported a rape
& so the word turns
into an ouroboros
in my mouth. the
snake eating its tail. 
around
& around & around with
teeth. this shouldn't
have to be you.
this shouldn't have to
be me. but it was.
it was it was it was.
so it was. 
& we should not have
to meet like this.
in the belly of 
a beached whale
that is justice.
there is, as always,
just us. i do not
know you but there
is a polygraph
under the obelisk,
the truth is a ring
in the mouth of
an intruded body.
i'm here to tell
you he was 17 & i was
15 & my fist 
has not let go
of the name. 
he said she said 
he said she said 
she said she said 
she said she said 
& said & said & said
i said i want 
a bed that doesn't
remind me of gabbles.
the smack. the throws.
a thank you dissolves
cherry throat.
this isn't a thank you,
this isn't
where we'll meet,
this is a benediction,
on the skin as
evidence 
call alchemy
call a fact fucked
in half & call
that half her.
call saint agnes
& agatha & always
always always joan.