penance

the last animal i ate was
a sea urchin. uni, the roll
of sushi tumbling across
a white plate, bicycle tires.
wasabi, a green scream,
a god-blood gone wrong.
i wrap my hands in sea weed
as an apology, sitting in
the living room & waiting
for a larger creature to
find me delectable. of all
the animals? humans are such
that they have to crack 
bodies open. what is inside?
the husks of sea urchins--
their yellow roe. the globe
growing scornful spines--
one huge bursting through
the floorboards of
my house. impale the mailbox. 
i say that i am
sorry, that i didn't mean 
to eat the sea urchin all
those years ago, only,
i did. i meant to eat her.
the sushi on my
tongue-- turning to salt
water. i spit it out
in the bathroom sink.
the bath tub, now full
of the creatures, 
echinoderms, the globular
organism. sitting among them,
they crawl up the tile walls.
we turn on the shower,
mist & algae. maybe if
i take care for them
they'll forgive me. 
i want penance, bless
me mother for i have sinned. 
each urchin a rosary bead gone angry.
each piece of furniture
in my house becoming a plate,
clear & white. 
i don't even remember what
they tasted like,
did the first human bite
one like an apple?
this is our history 
of taking.
teeth mauled with needles.
punish me
punish me
punish me
& the urchins gather,
speaking words made of
soy sauce & death bed rice.
the carpet gone sticky
& jasmine. 
they worked, turning
my eyes in to sea urchins,
a face for brothers.
two of them. black & white
world take me & 
drop me back into 
the water-- the image
can't breathe. 
of all the animals
of all the animals
to have eaten.