a better story of what happened 

i let loose the whole terrarium of snakes 
so that i could ask you to help 
me look for them.
they blend into the carpet--
they press themselves along the walls like molding.
somewhere there is a bucket of sand
being poured & a hushing sound
as it falls almost like a snake hiss
only the snakes stay silent.
i don't remember which ones are poisonous
so we put on dentist gloves--
the blue ones. i open my mouth
& ask you to check for snakes there.
with your fingers inspecting 
i consider biting down. the snakes
tie themselves in bows. the snakes 
eat their own tails & disappear
with a POP!
we still hear the sand as if
we're living in an hour glass--
i stick out a hand-- fingers open 
& i fell the light grains
brush my skin. we're being buried
very gradually so that one day
we'll wake up in complete dark 
& not know how we ended up there.
snakes lay out & pretend
to be windowsills. i tell them 
that i see them & they close their eyes 
as if with eyes shut the rest 
of the world might recede--
everyone has the window of childhood
where you think by closing your
eyes you might be able to turn
off the world. i bought so many snakes
or maybe they found me.
i don't remember the specifics.
i don't want to remember the specifics.
on the phone with my parents
i will probably accidentally tell them 
that i acquired a myriad of snakes
& they got loose. i never mean
to be vulnerable. i close my eyes 
on the phone as if to become
only a voice. i have been talking
as if there's two of us but 
it has just been me this whole time--
haven't you ever divided into thirds?
talked to yourself? 
asked yourself to help you-- to save you?
one of me was bit on the ankle
by a green mamba 
another successfully caught 
a corn snake in a mason jar. 
i ask can it breathe in there?
everything i know about sand is changing.
if i am buried over night with
all my snakes will you call 
all my friends & tell them a better
story of what happened. i have tried
my hand at my own obituary--
i have filled it with the names
of snakes:
garter, black rat snake, cotton mouth,
copper head, boa.
i tell the snakes i'm giving up
on finding them-- that they need 
to come out & they all come out 
at once, slowly, as if they were dripping
tongues tasting my blood
in the air. i open my mouth &
gesture for them to come inside 
& they listen, they are good snakes
despite what other people will say.