canoes in the dark 

the cars on the road out side my house 
become canoes in the dark. gliding bodies
through the dark water. i wasn't thinking 
about drowning i promise, no i was thinking
about a lake growing inside my throat the way
a tulip bulb might bloom-- arms thrown wide
& lips dislodging themselves from an owner.
i consider singing to the canoes but 
my reflection peels free of me-- slipping
out of sight. a cockroach of an animal.
i have been trying to catch her for years--
press a pin into her chest & call her 
a specimen. the clouds up there are 
brothy & golden. oh street lamps 
craning your necks-- is there something
you search for each night on the sidewalk 
or is it shadow you're interested in.
it is easy to forget you loved anyone
when the wind it wild & tossing leaves 
like blank letters. there are puddles left over
from the storm yesterday & i press my hand
into one to feel that coolness-- 
the water before it shifts into ice.
i am a brave human for not getting in
a canoe & drifting as far away from here
as i could. will the desire to escape 
every leave me? how far away from here
could i move & still dream of other 
beds floating on other planets. the moon 
has a tongue tonight & she uses it
to lick the salt from the sidewalk. 
i bend down to kiss her ankles
& the bracelets there are damp 
like the dew mess grass. i could call anyone
& tell them to come look at the migration
of canoes-- could even tell them to 
fall into one with me & undress
in that swaying. but i want to watch
the boats by myself. sadness is impossible
& yet always dripping. the lake spewing 
feathers. the lake with rocks 
on all the sides. i cough on it
& spit out algae in strands. webs of green.
what do other people do when they 
out into the night? do they, like me,
walk the same paths they've cut into 
their town or do they step into the water 
& drown gracefully before 
a canoe scoops them up & cradles.
back in my room i shake the water
out of both of my eyes & out comes 
fish scales & salt. the moon huge
in the window. wants to come inside
is climbing in a canoe. pleads with me
to escape.