tropical melon paradise body spray 

i kept tropical melon paradise body spray 
in my locker. i picked a locker tucked away 
in the back corner. sweat is cruelest 
to high school girls. the smell of our feet.
our sneakers blushing with grass stains.
i wrote my locker combo on a sticky-note
slipped in my backpack. as the year went on 
the note became barely legible. the note
folded & torn into pieces. i taped the combo 
back together. we played basketball. we played
ping-pong. i dreaded  
step aerobics. the rows of girls
following the gym teacher. she had 
a tight pong tail & defined leg muscles.
all of us in sync performing motions
almost as if we knew each other. girls 
all in the same grey & blue gym uniform. 
my hands would shake after. i would
run brush through my hair. the strands 
gone stringy & greasy from exertion. 
pressing down the head of the body spray 
& feeling the mist land on arms & 
shoulders & back. arm "pits" suggests 
that there's somewhere on the body
where you might fall in. i was 
ashamed of the stains on my gym shirt.
the light grey was unforgiving. 
more body spray. i bought the spray 
at CVS. i knew i needed something 
to cover myself with. it was like
wearing a second dress on top 
of the first one. the spray suggested 
a run away island where girls
lay all over & never have to run laps 
& never have boys stare at them while they run.
the girls on the island pluck melons 
from trees & share the fruit with each other.
they drip with sweat & they love the sweat.
their sweat is sweet. their sweat is
beautiful. other girls would probably tell me
the spray smells "sickly sweet" if i asked
but i love it. during the fall & spring
we play outdoors. in winter we use 
the gym. the boys class wears the same
uniforms. we are separated. we are 
cut down the middle. we play golf.
smack the small white balls into a net.
we go to the weight room. learn what 
our muscles mean. the equipment smells 
like rubber & bodies. i smell myself 
to make sure i still smell like 
tropical melon paradise. i lift
heavier & heavier weights. my limbs ask me
to be a stronger girl. leg lift.
leg press. arm curl. squats. 
we were becoming something between 
seeing each other strain. i closed my eyes 
sprayed my body & for that second
my skin was nectar.