lure 

he had boxes of fish lures 
& i asked if he could show me all of them.
i was on a playdate at his house.
i always thought of playdates like trying on
someone else's house. in the bathroom 
i'd smell the soap & open the curtains 
to so what kind of showerhead there was.
i missed the house i lived in where 
the shower head was detachable. ours was
fixed overhead like a sun. 
he placed them in my hands one at a time.
the lures smelled like wet leaves & 
sometimes like some kind of oil. 
slippery, they left my hands feeling slick.
my favorites were long & neon green.
i asked him what they were meant for catching
& he laughed & said girls. 
i laughed too. i was so drawn to it.
i couldn't help it. if there were a hook 
i would have slipped it into my lip
for that lure. he told me his dad took him fishing
on a huge ocean-like lake. every body of water
is eventually an ocean. he took me to his bathtub 
& asked if i want to go fishing there.
i agreed & we filled it with water. blue salt water.
the window on the other side of the bathroom 
blurted grey bright light on us. 
i want to be fished for & he helps me into the water.
i'm surprised when it comes up to my chin.
holding my breath i go under.
brain thrumming with lures. a thin black lure
with two tails. a pink lure with glitter in the gills.
i wanted lures too. i would ask my dad for lures
when i got back to my house. would my mom
let me fish for her? i should have ask him
to be a girl. a wanted a hook through my septum 
like a woman i saw at the pizza place. 
i forgot i was sinking until i saw the glimmering--
a whirling lure with a feathery tail.
i could wear it as an earring. i bit down 
& he realed me in easy. no thrashing
just my body pulled out of the water & on top of his.
spilled on the tile floor 
of his bathroom. i scrabbled off quickly
aware of being young & warm. was i a trout?
a bass? i wanted to be a sunfish. huge & balanced.
unblinking. before i left he told me 
to pick a lure to keep. i wanted to ask him
which lure would capture him but instead
i took the simple black one. dangled it 
infront of his face & he smiled. every boy 
is a fisherman somewhere behind his mouth.  
i slipped the lure into my pocket. i walked him
dreaming of pulling a girl from my bath tub.