meat substitute

ham petals open under knife.
a heat lamp to keep us alive.
i could separate myself
into three round white eggs if i had to.
none of them will bloom but a mother
will keep them warm. will keep waiting.
what i want is a replacement 
for thighs & arms. stomach 
is a form of betrayal. 
there's secret fried skin on every body.
elbows. knees. a chicken runs
across the sky for the last time.
i am waiting for a new kind of meat
so i can feel sanctified.  
in the garden, soybeans chatter 
about how they'd replicate me:
a knot there. a lip there. 
more symmetry. 
farmer cuts the necks 
of his flock. a punishment is often
not intended as such. here i am
with bones. when will my meat
unfurl like a fraying banner
onto the plate of the right 
lover? replace "lover" with 
"father." father is always a stable boy.
he brushes the horses before
they are turned into glue or
chicken nuggets. 
everything is filler. 
the interval between pork
& chicken. i want a pure
skillet. only an inch of oil. 
this is what you do to me 
when we stand in the same room
& i can tell you want to ask
about my scars. this is where
they remove the meat & feed the dirt.
a pile of pig noises. your cow tongue 
turns over. leaf rustles 
then is gone.