smoking on the porch on Thanksgiving we were dragons with our own private keepsakes. it snowed & kept the family at bay. no wars came to the lawn & no birds feasted on each other's legs. just the silence that ice promises. we shared a set of mittens. my left hand your right. the tree in the yard for dinner. a loose tooth giving in & falling still hot into the piling snow. not enough storm to go around. perky queer oven. a timer on my face dinging all day. i was annoying & so were you. i knew nothing about serving spoons. stole cigarettes to practice our mouths. red glow of the tunnel. celebrating irony in a country of bad ghosts. burning money for the hell of it & lying "i don't have any more." crooked nose from a mis-remembered punch. the wishbone, missing. tracing bruises in sharpie. not enough fine china for all the services. thumbs on the table. being a terrible child takes work. we exceed al expectations & link arms only after everyone else has gone to sleep. my ghost with your ghost. the train set aching in its box in the attic. i show you the coffin i've been building & you promise not to tell anyone else. the secret lengths. we have no more relatives & feel thankful. the dog dies over & over again. what are we going to do in twelve years or so? i say, "brother?" & you respond i with a nod & a dog-earing face, saving me for the next morning when we both can trade surnames. slices of murky apple pie. forks stuck in the dirt.