i'm looking for certainty at the stop & shop.
count the bodies in the produce section:
five, eight, twelve. three of them
are my dad & all of them are
feeling their fruit. i always look
at the bottom of strawberries
to check for smashed & rotten ones.
little tired hearts. i want to know
what everyone's fridge looks like right now.
is it really empty
or just dwindling? who has a jar of mayo
& who has five different hot sauces?
super markets are my favorite place to go
on a friday night. i want to be flirted with
in front of the milk jugs. i want to dance
by the rows of k-cups. once, in high school,
the loud speaker at the local supermarket
played "smells like teen spirit" &
i never felt so euphoric. i dream
of falling in love with someone
at a supermarket. the bananas aren't
long enough today. on days like this
i want to be green. i fill the basket with
loneliness & get another & another
just to leave them around the store.
i am an abandoner of necessities.
in the cereal aisle i check to see
what kinds of shapes i could be
cut into. star & donut circle &
marshmallow. what kind of bowl
could i fill? i carry an anticipatory spoon
in case i find him here (future lover)
& he's hungry. outside the window
spring is coming fast. it's going
to rain all weekend & make the world
muddy & horny. i self-check out & buy
too much & too little.
a bottle of dressing. a carton of eggs.
each *bleep* across the scanner.
a friend of mine used to want
a barcode tattoo. i don't think it's edgy
but i do think i already have one.
it's not worth searching for.
i wait too long in the parking lot.
listen to the radio & hope for
a good song but the good song doesn't come.
more people enter the grocery store.
more people leave, arms full.