brother assemblage

i found the older brother on the edge
where the jupiter beetles truth tell
& the copper men reap dead wheat.
put a collar around his neck
& said, "this is how you younger."
we were great friends as well as blood.
took him home to show my parents
who were always busy chopping onions
& placing my embryos in the crock pot
for tomorrow. i proclaimed i no longer
needed to be the eldest. 
they thought he would weat off
like most alchemy performed 
by small inexperience boys. 
what they don't know is
i have a whole other few lives
just waiting in my pocket. 
when i cast, i reach for one
until that substance shivers.
the older brother wasn't a good listener
or really a good influence. he spat coins 
at lightposts. he growled when i offered
him a nice fresh tabloid. who do you go to
when you age is starting to fray?
i thought older brother would be
a nice solution. find someone looming
to place his finger on the wound
while i work as i need to.
the bulbs aren't going to collection themselves.
gender isn't going to arrive as it should:
shined & ready to be read. 
instead i write my pronouns on everything
i own: he he they ze he they ze 
he they they them his how help
here & there. brother scratches them off.
doesn't like idenity. believes we are
not the same person from moment
to moment. in the middle of a new moon night
wakes me up from his cage, leash still
around his neck, & says
he is no longer my brother.
let him go outback where
the mistaken clocks are just waking.
watch him lumber off between 
the glass grape vines. farewell.
farewell. farewell.